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In a world that continues to strive for greater gender equality, there remains a curious attachment to traditional gender roles in romantic relationships between men and women. While some view these age-old conventions as captivating and romantic, others label them as sexist and outdated.

These conventional expectations of heterosexual romance dictate that men should take the lead by approaching women, initiating romantic interactions, asking for dates, covering expenses, making marriage proposals, and expecting women to adopt their surnames after marriage.

But why do some women still find these conventions attractive in the modern era?

To unravel this complex matter, we conducted a comprehensive study involving 458 single women in Australia. Our research delved into their preferences for these conventions, as well as their broader attitudes and desires.

Unraveling Women’s Desires

One plausible explanation for women’s preference for these romance conventions is their inherent traditional nature. Human beings tend to find comfort in traditions, and these conventions have been a part of romantic relationships for quite some time. They provide a clear script for navigating the uncertainty of romantic interactions, thus removing some of the guesswork surrounding who should take the lead.

Another reason could be that men’s adherence to these conventions signals their commitment and investment in the relationship. It might indicate their ability to provide for a family, a trait that research suggests women often find appealing in a partner.

The Attraction to ‘Nice’ Men

Our study revealed a significant correlation between women’s preference for these conventions and their desire to find a committed and invested partner. These preferences were stronger among women who favored long-term committed relationships over short-term casual encounters.

Additionally, we explored women’s attraction to dominant characteristics in a partner, such as assertiveness and power. As expected, we found that women who were more drawn to dominant traits were also more likely to prefer these traditional conventions.

The Role of Sexism

Previous research has established that both sexist attitudes and feminist identity play a role in these preferences. Women who preferred traditional romance conventions were less likely to identify as feminists and exhibited higher levels of benevolent sexism. This form of sexism idealizes women but simultaneously portrays them as less competent, often emphasizing the need for men’s protection.

Furthermore, women who preferred these conventions also displayed higher levels of hostile sexism, a more overt form of sexism directed at women. When analyzing these variables together, one strong predictor of the preference for these conventions emerged – benevolent sexism. This finding is not entirely surprising, as these conventions indeed resemble expressions of benevolent sexism in a romantic context. Even more strikingly, overt or hostile sexism continued to predict women’s preference for these conventions.

The Complex Intersection of Romance and Gender Equality

The question remains: can old-fashioned romance coexist with the principles of gender equality? While these conventions may appear benign or enchanting to some, others argue that they contribute to inequality in romantic relationships. Even subtle forms of everyday sexism and benevolent sexism can have detrimental effects on women’s well-being and success.

As society continues its march toward greater gender equality, the rigidity of these gender roles in private relationships becomes increasingly apparent. However, the existence of diverse genders and sexualities in romantic relationships assures us that romance doesn’t require a universal, predetermined script.

Perhaps, a more critical self-awareness might help us let go of our attachment to conventional norms. Embracing individual differences over inflexible conventions can lead us to explore alternatives, potentially giving rise to more egalitarian or female-led romances.